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by Lindsey Scholar

Taylor Marie was born a "perfect" child. She had 10 fingers, 10 toes and was perfectly healthy. Her beautiful smile and sparkling eyes would brighten anyone's day. But that light in her eyes was dimmed on February 19, 2001, when she was shaken by her biological father. Within seconds, her life was changed forever.

That day had started as any other; I awoke, got ready for work, fed Taylor (who was 1 day shy of 2 months old), put her into her crib to fall back to sleep, and said goodbye to her biological father. This was a routine day for our family, this day seemed no different than any other. I left for a meeting at work, looking forward to be returning in a couple of hours. When I returned, I was met by her biological father outside our apartment building. "There is something wrong with Taylor" he warned. When I saw her, I knew immediately there was something drastically wrong with our baby. She was gray in color, her eyes were closed, and she was moving her head side to side, and her arms up and down, something I would later come to know as "posturing". She was also making very low groaning noises. We brought her to the nearest emergency center, approximately 15 miles away. Little did I know her doctor had already been called by the biological father, and he had been instructed to call 911, which he never did.

Taylor and I were flown by helicopter to the nearest hospital that could address Taylor's ailments. At this time, I still had no idea what we were dealing with. All I knew was that this was VERY SERIOUS.

...this day seemed no different than any other. I left for a meeting at work, looking forward to be returning in a couple of hours. When I returned, I was met by her biological father outside our apartment building. "There is something wrong with Taylor" he warned.

Taylor underwent a craniotomy that day, to relieve pressure on her brain that was being caused by a collection of blood outside the brain, or, subdural hematoma. According to her surgical report, when her skull was opened, blood shot out approximately 12 inches due to the extreme amount of pressure in her head. More than half of Taylor's brain would die that night, due to a stroke during surgery. That was also the night I learned my daughter had been the victim of a non-accidental brain injury.

Taylor was in the hospital for 3 weeks. Those weeks were filled with uncertainty, worry, and fear. They were filled with questions: from doctors, from investigators, from social workers. And more questions, from family, from friends, from myself. Looking back, I see bits and pieces. I see a blur of emotion and snapshots from the worst time in my life. Something an innocent child should never have to endure. Something that never had to happen. Something that could have been PREVENTED.

Taylor is now almost 15 years old. She has reached the developmental age of approximately 18 months - 2years. She has diagnoses of hydrocephalus, cerebral palsy, developmental disability, intellectual disability, and osteoporosis. She uses a manual wheelchair to move around, and requires physical assistance to go anywhere. She requires 24 hour care, 7 days a week. She can never be left alone. While I try to "never say never", it is safe to say she will never drive, never attend college, never get married. She will always depend on others to care for her, although she is able to help with some of these activities. We never will know what her future held for her when she was born....that was stolen from her, in a few seconds, because someone who was entrusted to care for her lost control. For us, a few seconds changed our lives forever.

But I can't finish there. Taylor's life is not all sadness and pain. Her smile has returned-that smile that lights up a room as soon as she enters. She is an amazing individual with her own interests....her own thoughts....her own feelings. She has friends, she is active in adaptive activities, and she torments her little brother just as any big sister should. Her life has a purpose, it may be different than I intended for her when she was born, but every day, I see that purpose shining through. And we hope, that, someday, we will no longer see innocent lives being changed....or lost....by an act that is can be so easily prevented.

The National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome is so vital to the prevention of Abusive Head Trauma, but they cannot do it alone. They need YOUR help too. Please donate, if you can, so they can continue the wonderful and much needed work they do to protect babies and young children.

Lindsey Scholar
Mother to Taylor Marie Scholar, Abusive Head Trauma Survivor
MN